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Why is it so difficult to criticize Islam without angrying it deeply?
Phoenix.Kojo
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By Phoenix.Kojo 2010-05-03 19:34:13
Keiya said: Mabrook: of course a lot of them won't say no for her to work but they won't help her either in raising children or her work in house (there aren't a lot of good men out there)-
Let me stop you there...
Now, honey. Let me make somethin' perfectly clear to you; It's not that there aren't alot of good men out there, there are. It's just that women are, by nature, illogical. They'd rather find a bad guy and try to change him into a good guy, rather than find a good guy. Chances are; if you have been with bad guys, it's because you were lookin' for bad guys.
[+]
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By Phoenix.Darki 2010-05-03 19:36:00
I have a question, right now I'm actually watching a series about arabic culture and what not... they just said something about the celebration of the virgin, when a woman marries and she has sex with her husband and the sheets are stained, she is worthy of being his wife, but i dont understand something though, how is that possible? its prooven today that not every woman bleeds on her first time, hymens can break beforehand, when I had my first time I didn't bleed.
so how does that work? though just asking, im not questioning and I expect a mature answer, thankyou.
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By Phoenix.Kojo 2010-05-03 19:37:27
Phoenix.Darki said: I have a question, right now I'm actually watching a series about arabic culture and what not... they just said something about the celebration of the virgin, when a woman marries and she has sex with her husband and the sheets are stained, she is worthy of being his wife, but i dont understand something though, how is that possible? its prooven today that not every woman bleeds on her first time, hymens can break beforehand, when I had my first time I didn't bleed. so how does that work? though just asking, im not questioning and I expect a mature answer, thankyou.
You know what a Chili Dog is?
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By Phoenix.Darki 2010-05-03 19:37:38
Phoenix.Kojo said: Keiya said: Mabrook: of course a lot of them won't say no for her to work but they won't help her either in raising children or her work in house (there aren't a lot of good men out there)-
Let me stop you there...
Now, honey. Let me make somethin' perfectly clear to you; It's not that there aren't alot of good men out there, there are. It's just that women are, by nature, illogical. They'd rather find a bad guy and try to change him into a good guy, rather than find a good guy. Chances are; if you have been with bad guys, it's because you were lookin' for bad guys.
That's not true, I met the father of my kid and he was a really good guy at all times, after I disagreed on somethings on our life he turned into a monster, he basicly wanted me to do whatever he wanted after I got pregnant, and he turned into a violent aggressive kind of man that at the end of the day, does crack.
And I was not looking for a bad man deep down, I thought he was good, trust me he turned way differently at the end of the road, right now he's not around either.
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By Phoenix.Darki 2010-05-03 19:38:19
Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: I have a question, right now I'm actually watching a series about arabic culture and what not... they just said something about the celebration of the virgin, when a woman marries and she has sex with her husband and the sheets are stained, she is worthy of being his wife, but i dont understand something though, how is that possible? its prooven today that not every woman bleeds on her first time, hymens can break beforehand, when I had my first time I didn't bleed. so how does that work? though just asking, im not questioning and I expect a mature answer, thankyou.
You know what a Chili Dog is?
.-. a hot dog with meat on it?
By Trebold 2010-05-03 19:38:32
Garuda.Mabrook said: We can agree that a mother and father is better than a single parent right?
Muslims have the lowest divorce rate in any other group of people.
I'd say most is better than all men.
I'd say a child with an abusive mother/father would be more damaging to the child's independent growth. If the son sees his father beat his wife everyday, chances are, he'll grow up to do the same.
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By Phoenix.Kojo 2010-05-03 19:39:27
Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Keiya said: Mabrook: of course a lot of them won't say no for her to work but they won't help her either in raising children or her work in house (there aren't a lot of good men out there)- Let me stop you there... Now, honey. Let me make somethin' perfectly clear to you; It's not that there aren't alot of good men out there, there are. It's just that women are, by nature, illogical. They'd rather find a bad guy and try to change him into a good guy, rather than find a good guy. Chances are; if you have been with bad guys, it's because you were lookin' for bad guys. That's not true, I met the father of my kid and he was a really good guy at all times, after I disagreed on somethings on our life he turned into a monster, he basicly wanted me to do whatever he wanted after I got pregnant, and he turned into a violent aggressive kind of man that at the end of the day, does crack. And I was not looking for a bad man deep down, I thought he was good, trust me he turned way differently at the end of the road, right now he's not around either.
Well, honey, maybe it was you.
Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: I have a question, right now I'm actually watching a series about arabic culture and what not... they just said something about the celebration of the virgin, when a woman marries and she has sex with her husband and the sheets are stained, she is worthy of being his wife, but i dont understand something though, how is that possible? its prooven today that not every woman bleeds on her first time, hymens can break beforehand, when I had my first time I didn't bleed. so how does that work? though just asking, im not questioning and I expect a mature answer, thankyou. You know what a Chili Dog is? .-. a hot dog with meat on it?
Haha, not exactly.
By Trebold 2010-05-03 19:39:59
Either that, or there will be a drastic change in the person's life, where they demonize their father figure based on his actions. But the other case tends to happen more often.
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By Phoenix.Darki 2010-05-03 19:43:40
Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Keiya said: Mabrook: of course a lot of them won't say no for her to work but they won't help her either in raising children or her work in house (there aren't a lot of good men out there)- Let me stop you there... Now, honey. Let me make somethin' perfectly clear to you; It's not that there aren't alot of good men out there, there are. It's just that women are, by nature, illogical. They'd rather find a bad guy and try to change him into a good guy, rather than find a good guy. Chances are; if you have been with bad guys, it's because you were lookin' for bad guys. That's not true, I met the father of my kid and he was a really good guy at all times, after I disagreed on somethings on our life he turned into a monster, he basicly wanted me to do whatever he wanted after I got pregnant, and he turned into a violent aggressive kind of man that at the end of the day, does crack. And I was not looking for a bad man deep down, I thought he was good, trust me he turned way differently at the end of the road, right now he's not around either.
Well, honey, maybe it was you.
Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: I have a question, right now I'm actually watching a series about arabic culture and what not... they just said something about the celebration of the virgin, when a woman marries and she has sex with her husband and the sheets are stained, she is worthy of being his wife, but i dont understand something though, how is that possible? its prooven today that not every woman bleeds on her first time, hymens can break beforehand, when I had my first time I didn't bleed. so how does that work? though just asking, im not questioning and I expect a mature answer, thankyou. You know what a Chili Dog is? .-. a hot dog with meat on it?
Haha, not exactly.
You can't blame someone for being lied to, thats just pure-***. I wasn't looking for an abusive man that dictated how I was to breathe everyday, he was quite different, he was a sweetheart till I got pregnant and he just wanted full-control and when he couldn't have it his way, he tossed me aside like a bad idea. And no, I never allowed him to dictate anything to me, the moment he changed, so did I. I'm not submissive to anyone.
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By Phoenix.Kojo 2010-05-03 19:45:02
Garuda.Mabrook said: Old folks are HELP I AM TRAPPED IN 2006 PLEASE SEND A TIME MACHINE. I had that happen to me from some of my aunts overseas when I got married, mind you both me and my wife were virgins. My mom isn't the type to demand proof with blood on the sheets or something (Thank God) but there are some stupid people who will demand this from their children when they get married... Ask me why I honestly can't answer that on behalf of all those old timers who think like this.
A hymen is NOT proof, nor disproof of virginity, a hymen can be broken in numerous other ways, gymnastics, horse-back riding, yes, masturbation, etc. Not only that, but the presence doesn't mean virginity. Ahem. "Delieveries around back."
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By Seraph.Rafik 2010-05-03 19:45:45
Garuda.Mabrook said: Old folks are HELP I AM TRAPPED IN 2006 PLEASE SEND A TIME MACHINE. I had that happen to me from some of my aunts overseas when I got married, mind you both me and my wife were virgins.
My mom isn't the type to demand proof with blood on the sheets or something (Thank God) but there are some stupid people who will demand this from their children when they get married... Ask me why I honestly can't answer that on behalf of all those old timers who think like this.
to add Islam is not the only ones that do it
it is expected for Armenian women, especially if you are from the homeland
edit: notice I said women and not men, double standard I know
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By Phoenix.Kojo 2010-05-03 19:46:24
Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Keiya said: Mabrook: of course a lot of them won't say no for her to work but they won't help her either in raising children or her work in house (there aren't a lot of good men out there)- Let me stop you there... Now, honey. Let me make somethin' perfectly clear to you; It's not that there aren't alot of good men out there, there are. It's just that women are, by nature, illogical. They'd rather find a bad guy and try to change him into a good guy, rather than find a good guy. Chances are; if you have been with bad guys, it's because you were lookin' for bad guys. That's not true, I met the father of my kid and he was a really good guy at all times, after I disagreed on somethings on our life he turned into a monster, he basicly wanted me to do whatever he wanted after I got pregnant, and he turned into a violent aggressive kind of man that at the end of the day, does crack. And I was not looking for a bad man deep down, I thought he was good, trust me he turned way differently at the end of the road, right now he's not around either. Well, honey, maybe it was you. Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: I have a question, right now I'm actually watching a series about arabic culture and what not... they just said something about the celebration of the virgin, when a woman marries and she has sex with her husband and the sheets are stained, she is worthy of being his wife, but i dont understand something though, how is that possible? its prooven today that not every woman bleeds on her first time, hymens can break beforehand, when I had my first time I didn't bleed. so how does that work? though just asking, im not questioning and I expect a mature answer, thankyou. You know what a Chili Dog is? .-. a hot dog with meat on it? Haha, not exactly. You can't blame someone for being lied to, thats just pure-***. I wasn't looking for an abusive man that dictated how I was to breathe everyday, he was quite different, he was a sweetheart till I got pregnant and he just wanted full-control and when he couldn't have it his way, he tossed me aside like a bad idea. And no, I never allowed him to dictate anything to me, the moment he changed, so did I. I'm not submissive to anyone.
I was joking, he got hooked on drugs. That's probably why. Don't ever... EVER doubt Dr. Phil.
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By Phoenix.Darki 2010-05-03 19:46:42
Garuda.Mabrook said: Old folks are HELP I AM TRAPPED IN 2006 PLEASE SEND A TIME MACHINE. I had that happen to me from some of my aunts overseas when I got married, mind you both me and my wife were virgins.
My mom isn't the type to demand proof with blood on the sheets or something (Thank God) but there are some stupid people who will demand this from their children when they get married... Ask me why I honestly can't answer that on behalf of all those old timers who think like this.
I still didn't get my answer...
so religion basicly makes you stupid? Thinking that because a woman is pure she is to bleed, that's more ***, not all women bleed on their first time, and if it's still being practiced nowdays, they can't think for themselves for being too damn stubborn and angry at the world to come out of that shell.
End of story.
I respect that culture and love it more than anything in an outside point of view, specially artisticaly I have adoration for the things they've given to art history, so I respect it, but that doesn't mean I have to respect the people that NOWDAYS take the religion too literal to realize beyond it.
End of my argument, I /raged.
By Trebold 2010-05-03 19:47:11
Garuda.Mabrook said: Trebold said: Garuda.Mabrook said: We can agree that a mother and father is better than a single parent right?
Muslims have the lowest divorce rate in any other group of people.
I'd say most is better than all men.
I'd say a child with an abusive mother/father would be more damaging to the child's independent growth. If the son sees his father beat his wife everyday, chances are, he'll grow up to do the same. So everything you say is fact?
Hate to break to you, but it's not. I've yet to see any of my relatives beat their wives.
You'd be very surprised if there was an actual study on this and find many beatings happen outside religious people.
Oh, I completely agree with you. Abusive families occur outside of religion, outside of locale, outside of cultures. My point was to disagree with We can agree that a mother and father is better than a single parent right?. I don't believe that is always the case. If the mother or father must leave the other parent in order to benefit their child's growth, then they should be competent enough to do so.
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By Phoenix.Kojo 2010-05-03 19:47:56
Phoenix.Darki said: Garuda.Mabrook said: Old folks are HELP I AM TRAPPED IN 2006 PLEASE SEND A TIME MACHINE. I had that happen to me from some of my aunts overseas when I got married, mind you both me and my wife were virgins. My mom isn't the type to demand proof with blood on the sheets or something (Thank God) but there are some stupid people who will demand this from their children when they get married... Ask me why I honestly can't answer that on behalf of all those old timers who think like this. I still didn't get my answer... so religion basicly makes you stupid? Thinking that because a woman is pure she is to bleed, that's more ***, not all women bleed on their first time, and if it's still being practiced nowdays, they can't think for themselves for being too damn stubborn and angry at the world to come out of that shell. End of story. I respect that culture and love it more than anything in an outside point of view, specially artisticaly I have adoration for the things they've given to art history, so I respect it, but that doesn't mean I have to respect the people that NOWDAYS take the religion too literal to realize beyond it. End of my argument, I /raged.
It makes you closed-minded.
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By Phoenix.Darki 2010-05-03 19:49:27
Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Keiya said: Mabrook: of course a lot of them won't say no for her to work but they won't help her either in raising children or her work in house (there aren't a lot of good men out there)- Let me stop you there... Now, honey. Let me make somethin' perfectly clear to you; It's not that there aren't alot of good men out there, there are. It's just that women are, by nature, illogical. They'd rather find a bad guy and try to change him into a good guy, rather than find a good guy. Chances are; if you have been with bad guys, it's because you were lookin' for bad guys. That's not true, I met the father of my kid and he was a really good guy at all times, after I disagreed on somethings on our life he turned into a monster, he basicly wanted me to do whatever he wanted after I got pregnant, and he turned into a violent aggressive kind of man that at the end of the day, does crack. And I was not looking for a bad man deep down, I thought he was good, trust me he turned way differently at the end of the road, right now he's not around either. Well, honey, maybe it was you. Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: I have a question, right now I'm actually watching a series about arabic culture and what not... they just said something about the celebration of the virgin, when a woman marries and she has sex with her husband and the sheets are stained, she is worthy of being his wife, but i dont understand something though, how is that possible? its prooven today that not every woman bleeds on her first time, hymens can break beforehand, when I had my first time I didn't bleed. so how does that work? though just asking, im not questioning and I expect a mature answer, thankyou. You know what a Chili Dog is? .-. a hot dog with meat on it? Haha, not exactly. You can't blame someone for being lied to, thats just pure-***. I wasn't looking for an abusive man that dictated how I was to breathe everyday, he was quite different, he was a sweetheart till I got pregnant and he just wanted full-control and when he couldn't have it his way, he tossed me aside like a bad idea. And no, I never allowed him to dictate anything to me, the moment he changed, so did I. I'm not submissive to anyone.
I was joking, he got hooked on drugs. That's probably why. Don't ever... EVER doubt Dr. Phil.
he had always been on drugs, I dont know how I let that pass by. I think weed is a fine fun trip, it seemed like he was just like anyone else doing weed for fun, truth was he couldn't control his anger with out it and he was hooked with other things I didn't know of. Then again, I try not to be around those kind of people, so I wouldn't had noticed really, excuse my naiveness on that fact, now I know better atleast.
And again, do drugs or not, he was still abusive/controling, how did he expect me to submit to all his ***-rules? Gosh, he couldn't believe it when I went against him and dumped his sorry ***, I don't even count him as an ex, more like a big mistake I learned from.
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By Phoenix.Kojo 2010-05-03 19:52:18
Phoenix.Darki said: he had always been on drugs, I dont know how I let that pass by. I think weed is a fine fun trip, it seemed like he was just like anyone else doing weed for fun, truth was he couldn't control his anger with out it and he was hooked with other things I didn't know of. Then again, I try not to be around those kind of people, so I wouldn't had noticed really, excuse my naiveness on that fact, now I know better atleast. And again, do drugs or not, he was still abusive/controling, how did he expect me to submit to all his ***-rules? Gosh, he couldn't believe it when I went against him and dumped his sorry ***, I don't even count him as an ex, more like a big mistake I learned from.
Marijuana isn't a drug, it's an herb. Drugs are synthetic, they are made. Chances are the 'nice guy' persona was him calmed by the effects of the weed.
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By Phoenix.Darki 2010-05-03 19:53:58
Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: Garuda.Mabrook said: Old folks are HELP I AM TRAPPED IN 2006 PLEASE SEND A TIME MACHINE. I had that happen to me from some of my aunts overseas when I got married, mind you both me and my wife were virgins. My mom isn't the type to demand proof with blood on the sheets or something (Thank God) but there are some stupid people who will demand this from their children when they get married... Ask me why I honestly can't answer that on behalf of all those old timers who think like this. I still didn't get my answer... so religion basicly makes you stupid? Thinking that because a woman is pure she is to bleed, that's more ***, not all women bleed on their first time, and if it's still being practiced nowdays, they can't think for themselves for being too damn stubborn and angry at the world to come out of that shell. End of story. I respect that culture and love it more than anything in an outside point of view, specially artisticaly I have adoration for the things they've given to art history, so I respect it, but that doesn't mean I have to respect the people that NOWDAYS take the religion too literal to realize beyond it. End of my argument, I /raged.
It makes you closed-minded.
so imagine, all the women that were, have been stoned to death or returned home in 'shame' because there was no blood on the sheets, and she was completly pure.
makes anyone /rage thinking about it, I can't blame them in earlier times, but if they do it nowdays, I'd /rage.
It's not the past and how religion was taken that bothers me, what do you expect from men that coulnd't control their passions? I am /raging over the stupid people that would still kill themselves for a little argument over this, and the people that would take their own beliefs too far and take someone elses head for it
So in the end, whoever has power, imposes it on who is innocent. No wonder kids grow up nowdays with so much *** anger.
By Trebold 2010-05-03 19:55:22
Garuda.Mabrook said: At any rate, I'm done for now being on the offensive side.
I'll bbl when I have more time~
Was fun talking with you, take care.
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By Phoenix.Darki 2010-05-03 19:56:12
Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: he had always been on drugs, I dont know how I let that pass by. I think weed is a fine fun trip, it seemed like he was just like anyone else doing weed for fun, truth was he couldn't control his anger with out it and he was hooked with other things I didn't know of. Then again, I try not to be around those kind of people, so I wouldn't had noticed really, excuse my naiveness on that fact, now I know better atleast. And again, do drugs or not, he was still abusive/controling, how did he expect me to submit to all his ***-rules? Gosh, he couldn't believe it when I went against him and dumped his sorry ***, I don't even count him as an ex, more like a big mistake I learned from.
Marijuana isn't a drug, it's an herb. Drugs are synthetic, they are made. Chances are the 'nice guy' persona was him calmed by the effects of the weed.
He is *** up, he's on more meds now than before, I don't want that kind of man near me and less likely my son, that could fall innocent to that hand. I'd rather run away than let him have us. but I'm not running away, I'm facing him in court and I'm also saying his several death threats to hurt me and what not. and I hope the judge comes up with a system that protects me and my child and makes him also take responsability, he's not getting away that easily from me.
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By Phoenix.Kojo 2010-05-03 19:59:04
Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: he had always been on drugs, I dont know how I let that pass by. I think weed is a fine fun trip, it seemed like he was just like anyone else doing weed for fun, truth was he couldn't control his anger with out it and he was hooked with other things I didn't know of. Then again, I try not to be around those kind of people, so I wouldn't had noticed really, excuse my naiveness on that fact, now I know better atleast. And again, do drugs or not, he was still abusive/controling, how did he expect me to submit to all his ***-rules? Gosh, he couldn't believe it when I went against him and dumped his sorry ***, I don't even count him as an ex, more like a big mistake I learned from. Marijuana isn't a drug, it's an herb. Drugs are synthetic, they are made. Chances are the 'nice guy' persona was him calmed by the effects of the weed. He is *** up, he's on more meds now than before, I don't want that kind of man near me and less likely my son, that could fall innocent to that hand. I'd rather run away than let him have us. but I'm not running away, I'm facing him in court and I'm also saying his several death threats to hurt me and what not. and I hope the judge comes up with a system that protects me and my child and makes him also take responsability, he's not getting away that easily from me.
His name isn't Eric, is it?
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By Phoenix.Darki 2010-05-03 20:01:21
Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: he had always been on drugs, I dont know how I let that pass by. I think weed is a fine fun trip, it seemed like he was just like anyone else doing weed for fun, truth was he couldn't control his anger with out it and he was hooked with other things I didn't know of. Then again, I try not to be around those kind of people, so I wouldn't had noticed really, excuse my naiveness on that fact, now I know better atleast. And again, do drugs or not, he was still abusive/controling, how did he expect me to submit to all his ***-rules? Gosh, he couldn't believe it when I went against him and dumped his sorry ***, I don't even count him as an ex, more like a big mistake I learned from. Marijuana isn't a drug, it's an herb. Drugs are synthetic, they are made. Chances are the 'nice guy' persona was him calmed by the effects of the weed. He is *** up, he's on more meds now than before, I don't want that kind of man near me and less likely my son, that could fall innocent to that hand. I'd rather run away than let him have us. but I'm not running away, I'm facing him in court and I'm also saying his several death threats to hurt me and what not. and I hope the judge comes up with a system that protects me and my child and makes him also take responsability, he's not getting away that easily from me.
His name isn't Eric, is it?
Juan Pablo.
But if it sounds like someone you know, means that kind of man exists in too many numbers.
I still do believe good men are out there, and hopefully I will get my paws on one, when I'm ready to put effort on a relationship, for now I have to dedicate myself to one little man.
By Trebold 2010-05-03 20:02:42
Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: he had always been on drugs, I dont know how I let that pass by. I think weed is a fine fun trip, it seemed like he was just like anyone else doing weed for fun, truth was he couldn't control his anger with out it and he was hooked with other things I didn't know of. Then again, I try not to be around those kind of people, so I wouldn't had noticed really, excuse my naiveness on that fact, now I know better atleast. And again, do drugs or not, he was still abusive/controling, how did he expect me to submit to all his ***-rules? Gosh, he couldn't believe it when I went against him and dumped his sorry ***, I don't even count him as an ex, more like a big mistake I learned from.
Marijuana isn't a drug, it's an herb. Drugs are synthetic, they are made. Chances are the 'nice guy' persona was him calmed by the effects of the weed.
He is *** up, he's on more meds now than before, I don't want that kind of man near me and less likely my son, that could fall innocent to that hand. I'd rather run away than let him have us. but I'm not running away, I'm facing him in court and I'm also saying his several death threats to hurt me and what not. and I hope the judge comes up with a system that protects me and my child and makes him also take responsability, he's not getting away that easily from me.
And it sounds like you did the right thing keeping your son out of that environment of an unhealthy relationship. I'm glad you could stand up for yourself, there are too many out there who simply "stay together for the kids", while more often than not, it would be better to leave.
On a side note, at one of my friend's house, we could hear a neighbor yelling at his wife which led to beating. The police came by for a while, and then left. Days later, my friend tells me the same thing happened again, just without police. This was all about a year ago, and they are still together. My friend says he still hears arguments from them from time to time. I guess my question is.. why do they still put up with it?
By Keiya 2010-05-03 20:02:43
Phoenix.Kojo said: Keiya said: Mabrook: of course a lot of them won't say no for her to work but they won't help her either in raising children or her work in house (there aren't a lot of good men out there)-
Let me stop you there...
Now, honey. Let me make somethin' perfectly clear to you; It's not that there aren't alot of good men out there, there are. It's just that women are, by nature, illogical. They'd rather find a bad guy and try to change him into a good guy, rather than find a good guy. Chances are; if you have been with bad guys, it's because you were lookin' for bad guys.
Interesting note but that's only when women can choose their husbands ;)
In middle east (yes my whole point about Arabian people)
There are still families out there that have this custom : woman cannot see her husband until wedding ceremony , or the guy simply go to his mother tell her to pick up for him a girl to marry.
My point is the one who knows about the husband (good or bad) are the families themselves (Father , brother perhaps mother?) but not the woman herself since she can't get any info about him until they get engaged.
Again this doesn't apply to all arabian countries anyway but such customs still exist and most of divorce reasons come because of this
Phoenix.Kojo
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By Phoenix.Kojo 2010-05-03 20:02:53
Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Phoenix.Darki said: he had always been on drugs, I dont know how I let that pass by. I think weed is a fine fun trip, it seemed like he was just like anyone else doing weed for fun, truth was he couldn't control his anger with out it and he was hooked with other things I didn't know of. Then again, I try not to be around those kind of people, so I wouldn't had noticed really, excuse my naiveness on that fact, now I know better atleast. And again, do drugs or not, he was still abusive/controling, how did he expect me to submit to all his ***-rules? Gosh, he couldn't believe it when I went against him and dumped his sorry ***, I don't even count him as an ex, more like a big mistake I learned from. Marijuana isn't a drug, it's an herb. Drugs are synthetic, they are made. Chances are the 'nice guy' persona was him calmed by the effects of the weed. He is *** up, he's on more meds now than before, I don't want that kind of man near me and less likely my son, that could fall innocent to that hand. I'd rather run away than let him have us. but I'm not running away, I'm facing him in court and I'm also saying his several death threats to hurt me and what not. and I hope the judge comes up with a system that protects me and my child and makes him also take responsability, he's not getting away that easily from me. His name isn't Eric, is it? Juan Pablo. But if it sounds like someone you know, means that kind of man exists in too many numbers. I still do believe good men are out there, and hopefully I will get my paws on one, when I'm ready to put effort on a relationship, for now I have to dedicate myself to one little man.
'Eric' has a bipolar condition. Maybe this Juan does, too. I doubt you care. I know I don't.
By Trebold 2010-05-03 20:05:39
Keiya said: Phoenix.Kojo said: Keiya said: Mabrook: of course a lot of them won't say no for her to work but they won't help her either in raising children or her work in house (there aren't a lot of good men out there)-
Let me stop you there...
Now, honey. Let me make somethin' perfectly clear to you; It's not that there aren't alot of good men out there, there are. It's just that women are, by nature, illogical. They'd rather find a bad guy and try to change him into a good guy, rather than find a good guy. Chances are; if you have been with bad guys, it's because you were lookin' for bad guys.
Interesting note but that's only when women can choose their husbands ;)
In middle east (yes my whole point about Arabian people)
There are still families out there that have this custom : woman cannot see her husband until wedding ceremony , or the guy simply go to his mother tell her to pick up for him a girl to marry.
My point is the one who knows about the husband (good or bad) are the families themselves (Father , brother perhaps mother?) but not the woman herself since she can't get any info about him until they get engaged.
Again this doesn't apply to all arabian countries anyway but such customs still exist and most of divorce reasons come because of this
hahah, it's like a Halloween grab-bag! Could get a noble husband who treats you right, or one who has no qualms with beating you senseless. :(
I think I figured out how it is possible that the large majority of people from the Muslim world would be so profoundly offended when their Prophet is criticized or made fun of. I mean, to them, it could very well look obvious, yet it seems they do not really understand why either. A lot of them just accept that someone would be killed for depicting the prophet Mohamed, even though we ask them why, in a way that we feel cannot be argued with. How is it possible that someone would be hated for openly making fun of something as mundane as religion, we ask? I think I can reasonably explain why they would accept the idea, believe it or not. I want to know what is to be done if we're going to help these people stop feeling so persecuted and if we’re going to finally gain the right to criticize Islam, as it should be, without threatening the people in it. The answer, I think, lies in our perceptions of what religion is versus where it should stand in relations to ethnicity. Help me out.
First, it is difficult to argue against the idea that Islam, to this day, is majorly against the advancement of secular culture. It is associated so directly to what I would refer, for lack of a better word, Arabian culture, that criticizing a religion tied so closely with it, appears (at least from my personal experience) to insult them, as people. Another factor to consider is how Muslims, despite their divisions, have the strength in numbers to lead us into being cautious about criticizing Islamic beliefs, even if it shouldn’t be so. Any critic, whether it is well intentioned or backed with incredibly solid and logical arguments, seems to backfire when it is targeted at Islam. More than often, it seems to be giving more reasons to feel justified, leading Islamic countries to cocoon themselves from modern secular culture. Unlike other ethnicities that are also extremely tied to their religion; the Jews, for example, the fact that they’re over a billion, somewhat gives them the mental ability to feel universally justified. It’s as if any strong criticism of Islam was a threat to their identity, integrity and intelligence, even when it’s not...
In a secular view, insulting religion doesn't necessarily equate to racial discrimination, and the fact that our western culture systematically ignores this, is the key point that prevents the western world from understanding why Muslims would be so offended. I have come to realize that a lot of Muslims try to say it, but it seems they do not understand what I am writing here, at least not enough to put it into the proper words that would make us understand. My goal is to help us both come to understand, through careful yet fortunate observations which I feel have led me to grasp some of this intricate psychology.
Let’s think for a second about this analogy: Let’s compare some white guy shouting racist comments towards blacks to your average non-Christian openly criticizing Christianity. Which is the worst, in the eyes of the average American, or European? Racism, isn’t it? Racism is undoubtedly the worst of those two things, at least according to our modern secular values. This is not to say that racism has been eradicated from the Western world, far from it. But even for the most racist among us in North America, it is extremely discouraged to make a racist statement publicly. It is not viewed as acceptable at all.
Have you ever seen a single Arabic person and expect him not to be a Muslim? It's as if their religion has so much grasp that it's nearly impossible for an Arabic person to not be a Muslim. But why doesn’t anyone seem to question this fact? Isn’t it fishy, considering that religion should be a choice? In fact, Muslims, in Muslim countries, are taught, from childhood, that the punishment for apostasy is death. The indoctrination is done to them so early in their life, and in such a strong and unquestionable way, that it achieves terrific results; it is almost irreversible. To them this is a good thing; to us, it’s just wrong.
In my opinion, the fact that Islam, as a religion, has been able to keep such a strong grasp, to this day, on the lives of the almost entirety of Arabic cultures is leading the Islamic world to a dangerous path. We all know that not only religion can be used to control masses, ii can also be a dangerous weapon. In America, some will argue, television is used for mass propaganda and it is difficult for the majority to avoid being brainwashed by many ideas that they would otherwise have never acquired as individuals. However, an average occidental still gets to make SOME choices about what morality should be; they chose whether they’ll be for or against abortion, whether they’ll be against slavery or not, whether they’ll vote for a black man or not.
It is possible to speak with a Muslim about what we dislike in Islam, without him getting angry. I have experienced it myself. It is difficult, however. Even as I was able to converse, I would feel the incredible pain that questioning one’s own identity can inflict on an indoctrinated individual. As we cannot tolerate being racially discriminated, they cannot tolerate negative criticism of Islam; they view is as their culture.
It may be sad to say, for most of us who wish for world peace, but secularism is not going to happen anytime soon in the Arab world. It could never be forced on Muslims. It is completely against their conception of what a religion should be and what place it should have in their life. Through what I have just explained, we can even understand the bottomless frustration of Muslims against non-Muslims when faced with debates like whether or not we should be banning the Burka in public spaces. The same issue arises: to us, it’s common sense and required for secularism, to them it’s a slap in the face, not as a Muslim but as an Arab. To us, it's freedom of speech; to them, it's against it. It is an insult to their culture, just as we would react to someone trying to deny our right to have a cultural background, just as we would react to a Muslim telling a White woman that wearing g-strings is degrading and wrong.
How can we possibly achieve a secular society, with Muslims living in it, if we do not agree on whether it’s okay to force someone to act secularly? Aren’t we stuck with the problem of having many kids arguing about who gets to play with the ball, while one of the kids sits on the ball, arguing that it should not be played with in the first place? How flexible can secularism be, without ending up betraying itself?
Can we find a temporary solution? I would like your opinion.
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