FFXI LGBT Community, Who Are You?

I can see where y'all are coming from with the whole "words are words" thing, but it really is a bit more complicated than that.

Language is an absolutely formative part of human cognitive development; it literally shapes the way that we perceive, interact with, and (yes) feel about the world around us. Think about it: how do you understand something? How do you think? Words define all of these experiences--from the day you start making sense of this "da da" character until the day you sit upon your deathbed struggling to comprehend the end of your mortal existence.

Nuances in language and connotation (as can be seen between different cultures, for example) can cause different people to interpret the same basic idea in completely different ways. Learn a foreign language or two (and I mean really learn them, not just the definitions of a few common nouns and verbs) and then go interact with a native speaker--I guarantee you'll be able to see the effect that their language has had on their thoughts and attitudes. If you're lucky, maybe you'll even see how your own language has influenced you!

At any rate, all of this is just to illustrate that words are in our heads and under our skin more than some of us will ever realize. It's not an issue of being thick-skinned or too sensitive; our language is what binds us--willingly or not--to the greater consciousness of our society. Example: when the word "gay" is used as a replacement for "shitty" or "*** up" (even if the speaker in question does not personally view gay people as shitty or *** up), it begins to take on these new meanings and connotations. When this usage becomes so commonplace as to be "just something that people say," these meanings begin to pollute the greater consciousness of society. Try to imagine how it might be difficult to grow up in an environment where the words "I am gay" sound like self-debasement. It can be pretty rough, and all because of well-meaning dudebros who can't be assed to say what they mean (protip: we already have pleeeenty of words that mean shitty^^) instead of heavyhandedly appropriating an otherwise neutral word while they grasp around for a fresh expletive. I don't view them as malicious or ill-intentioned; I view them as lazy. But that doesn't mean they aren't still feeding into something harmful.

I am not trans (or black, HELP I AM TRAPPED IN 2006 PLEASE SEND A TIME MACHINE, female, religious, whatever), but this is how I try to relate to someone when they tell me that I'm using/twisting their descriptor to mean something negative. It really isn't that hard. I definitely agree that "political correctness" is something of a distraction, but only because lately it has become the battle cry of boring people who prop themselves up by trying to make others look ignorant. It shouldn't be about that.

The idea behind "political correctness" exists for a reason though: we're all people and we're all flawed in that we aren't automatically privy to our neighbors' perspectives, which makes it really hard to imagine the impact that our language will have on them. Ideally we want to build a mutually positive relationship with those around us, so there are reasons for paying attention to our words. "Political correctness" is kind of like a cheat sheet that lets us skip over these reasons (which we we can't always see from our distant perspective) and proceed straight to the end result of not being a *** to our neighbors. Using a cheat sheet is obviously not so ideal (turns out people really do need to know why a certain way of speaking is harmful) and has led to the bloated monstrosity that is the modern PC movement, but this doesn't invalidate the reason behind its existence in the first place.

Regardless, when it comes to issues like language usage, we should all understand that not everything occurs to everyone right off the bat. It should always be about sharing perspectives and helping people to understand our pain, never about shaming them for not automatically understanding something outside their experience--especially because a majority of people really do mean well. Perspectives are a form of privilege; not everyone shares as many of them as you do.

tl;dr: We build language. Language controls our minds. Words matter. Don't be a ***.