FFXI LGBT Community, Who Are You?

I live in Florida, he lives in Texas.

We've been together since november, and seen each other quite a bit, but the last time was mid jan. Two weeks after he left, a friend in town where he lives says he saw him on Grindr. I confronted him about it and he says he was just bored passing time (We have a monogamous and no-app relationship) and wasn't going to do anything. Fast forward to two weeks ago, I catch him again. Same deal.

Fast forward to now. He writes me a letter saying he wasn't looking for his happy ending and unfortunately he found that in me. He's not the guy I deserve right now, he's a coward and (not even out yet) afraid to do what he needs to do. Asks me to wait (LOLno) but knows I can't, and that he can't trust HIMSELF to NOT cheat on me... (wtf)

But, when I tried to end it, he begged and pleaded not to cut him out of my life. So he still calls, skypes, tells me he loves me, and expects to visit for my birthday at the end of the month.. WTF.
I would have no hesitation telling any other guy to F off, but for SOME reason, I can't let him go even though I should.... UGHHHH

I could understand maybe 30-45 mins driving distance but different states...

Imo he's just giving you a BS excuse. Like the saying goes "When the cat's away, the mice will play." I wish you the best, you're young plenty of fish in the sea! Just be-careful with the "catfish!"

Agree with tequila-sombrero-cat. That's some BS right there. :X Sounds like you have a clearly defined (and previously agreed upon) relationship; I'd be like "respect it or gtfo."

He's trying to have his cake and eat it too--it's either OK with you or it isn't, and he's making the gamble that he can get away with it before it's too late to get back with you (exclusively). Maybe let him know just how dangerous the gamble is? "Some people have open relationships and that's awesome, but we don't" etc.

Hey all :D

xxxx

o/
*goes back into hiding*

Sounds like he doesn't need a long distance relationship. They aren't for everybody.

lol is true if you caught him 2ce prolly time to move on, he is not very smart or wants to be caught so he can move on... so it's up to you if you think he's just dumb, you'll prolly have to put up with that, as he'll keep doing it. Otherwise you could just end where it be or put up with it as long as you guys talk. Grindr (or however you spell it) is sooo unsophisticated ; ;

hope that helped btw ^^ it's just logic to the douche's reasoning wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Lucky escape then I've given up will stay single for now, too much of a hassle these days.

When I tried to end it, he begged and pleaded not for me to go.

Still calls and skypes with me as much as we used to even thought he considers us just friends? Says he loves me, calls me baby?

Basically I think he wants all the emotional benefits of being in a relationship, without the emotional responsibility of staying faithful or worrying about being local. Oh, and I should mention, he's still in the closet and considers himself to be Bi. A stipulation of our relationship was that he was trying to overcome his fear of coming out, and now he's not done a damn thing to try and come out, just moved farther back in the closet.

ok so you don't think he's the stupid one, then yes, he will cling forever unless you kick him off, so again it's up to you do you want to let him have all the emotional benefits if you truly are the monogamous type let him go, otherwise you can deal with him just going out and seeing others, as long as he's in another state, plus closet cases are a lot more difficult to be in long distance, but again it's up to you what you want, do what's best for you.

but from your first line you know what you want, you shouldn't stall it out, that'll just lead to false promises and more pain for both parties, so just let him loose tell him to use grindr if that's what he wants.

Ask yourself few questions: Do you two have plans on relocating? Are you emotionally satisfied thus far? How much time have you actually spent with one another(excluding skype/internet/phone)?

You should really be careful dating closeted men, mainly b/c they don't know what they want. You may be setting yourself up for even more hurt when he comes out.

It's kinda ironic you posted this. I met a guy last night at a bar who lives 70 miles away from me. Yah we talked, he's nice. I'd probably date him if he lives closer, but I know realistically I'm not willing to drive 70 miles just to see a guy. So I took it for what it is, bow chicka wow wow. Maybe I'm just kinda lazy, but you need to be within 10 miles or less of me lol.

What about Valstav! ;;

Found this on grindr last night lolz

lol that is funny I've already been to the mall and it sucked. I've already been to grinder, I've already been to ginder, I've already been to grinder after 5 minutes I was like lets go.

Hope you get it figured out soon, Sav. :<


Hey guys, long time no see^^!

Skyping with him now and laying everything down on the table, my raw feelings and being honest, and he got so nauseated he threw up.

Gotta serve dat' real shiznit, yo'

o.o;

well that's good make him decide now :P

Told him goodbye last night, so it's over. He has only 1 way to contact me if he grows up a little.

Sorry it ended up like that. :< It's good you were able to do what you needed to do, at least.^^

well it's more of a matter that you got what you know you needed, there'll be others

Add me if you would like on the FacePlace

lol


I'll try to remember to add you the next time my VPN is working and I can get on. XD We have a group for this thread.^^

Carrelo :D how are you? x

Getting ready for work. x.x Mondayyyyy ; ;

Interesting read here:

Op-ed: Are Gay Men A Gay Man's Worst Enemy?

The author analyzes gay bar interactions a bit. Kinda interesting, well for me it was more of a "duh."

And in other news, in 24 days my boyfriend is dropping everything and moving from London to Korea to be with me...

True story.

/psych

Congrats!