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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2018-03-16 08:56:31
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Storming the Corn Palace!!!



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on this day of 18425... the Kingdom of NI has declared a
Formal Declaration of War against the Empire of the Children of the Corn.

Our main objective shall be the utter destruction of their stronghold....the Corn Palace /paces around the war room

ladies... gentlemen... robomos... /sighs ...and ok sure why not... girlboys...

It has come to our attention that a kingdom of Corn people has risen against us in the northern lands. Since nobody was paying attention to Mosin or PARKER they wandered off in a peyote fueled hallucination stomp and stumbled upon this fledgling kingdom of corn people....

so...if they have built a palace... then presumably they have a king and or queen which obviously we can't abide...

I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you the kids are all super creepy and armed to the teeth with all sorts of home made farm implements turned into weapons...

But we will soak the ground with their blood....or milky yellowish corn juice...or whatever comes out of them...

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take no prisoners, leave no survivors...

we'll begin the arduous journey on monday...but with stupid traffic we'll probably arrive really really late....so we'll sleep in...not too late though, of course... because we'll want to grab a bite of the free continental breakfast in the morning so that we don't get too peckish later on in the day...but then after a couple pots of coffee We will march on a road of bones! ...or corn cobs... or stalks... husks? /looks over at mosin and PARKER but gets nothing but shrugs

hell idk and since Mosin and PARKER were tripping balls their "reports" kind of read like.... look it doesn't matter!!! whatever it is they are made of we will stomp on it!!!


ATTACK!!!
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 Shiva.Spathaian
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By Shiva.Spathaian 2018-03-16 15:21:37
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
Formal Declaration of War against the Empire of the Children of the Corn.
I came here to have a good time and I'm feeling very attacked right now...
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 Ragnarok.Hevans
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By Ragnarok.Hevans 2018-03-16 15:41:21
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the plan of action is to take out their military leadership in coordinated strikes. my suggestion is to assassinate someone. might i suggest popping their colonel?
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2018-03-16 17:12:05
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Shiva.Spathaian said: »
Shiva.Nikolce said: »
Formal Declaration of War against the Empire of the Children of the Corn.
I came here to have a good time and I'm feeling very attacked right now...

Malachai?!?

is that you?
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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2018-03-19 09:58:48
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those corn-sucking hicks won’t know what hit em’.
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2018-03-19 23:41:33
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A quick FU to the scumbags at enterprise truck rental. The Chevy van PARKER rented blew it's stabilitrac en route to Mitchell and I had to shift manually....

No cruise control, manual shifting, a thousand miles of driving, no stabilitrack, we bobbed like a viking warship on the asphalt sea... my brain came loose from it's moorings. The Corn Palace will fall
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By Anna Ruthven 2018-03-20 08:21:12
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
A quick FU to the scumbags at enterprise truck rental. The Chevy van PARKER rented blew it's stabilitrac en route to Mitchell and I had to shift manually....

No cruise control, manual shifting, a thousand miles of driving, no stabilitrack, we bobbed like a viking warship on the asphalt sea... my brain came loose from it's moorings. The Corn Palace will fall
Enterprise are obviously Corn sympathizers and that was obviously sabotage.
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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2018-03-20 09:20:32
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Sympathizers will be dealt with in the same vigor.
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By Anna Ruthven 2018-03-20 09:29:14
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Will the corn cache be raided to make alcohol or something?
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 Shiva.Spathaian
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By Shiva.Spathaian 2018-03-21 11:23:51
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Stay away from our alcohol. It's the only thing we've got to help us forget how boring it is here.
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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2018-03-22 10:57:54
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Boss! PARKER's been heavily wounded in the 'battle at main st.' I'm gonna take him back to Rapid City and see if his leg needs to be amputated. We won the battle against those ayran lookin' little ***, but I'm afraid the cost may have been too high. The streets run red with blood in mitchell, my sanity hangs by a thread, and PARKER's condition is far too gruesome to describe here.
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2018-03-23 08:13:13
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Siren.Mosin said: »
Boss! PARKER's been heavily wounded in the 'battle at main st.' I'm gonna take him back to Rapid City and see if his leg needs to be amputated. We won the battle against those ayran lookin' little ***, but I'm afraid the cost may have been too high. The streets run red with blood in mitchell, my sanity hangs by a thread, and PARKER's condition is far too gruesome to describe here.

tell him to walk it off...and tell him to remove pleebo from the white list. because when he finds out I never thanked you for buying junior and I dinner... he'll scratch my eyes out..

I need to coffee about a gallon more and then I'll work on the answer key to the 27 times I started babbling nonsense, forgot a word and trailed off... I can't believe I got row and urial mixed up...
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2018-03-23 09:18:10
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Candlejack said: »
Funny story I once heard

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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2018-03-23 10:16:32
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Siren.Mosin said: »
battle at main st

yeah...I'm still having nightmares....




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By Anna Ruthven 2018-03-23 10:19:53
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Candlejack said: »
Anna Ruthven said: »
Will the corn cache be raided to make alcohol or something?
Funny story I once heard from my grandfather, years and years ago. Back when he was a kid, his aunt wound up shooting at one of his cousins for raiding the corn crib for exactly that reason. He wanted the corn to make moonshine. Making matters worse, that cousin's son followed in his dad's footsteps and makes moonshine. He rarely shows up, and I continue to leave standing orders that when he does, whoever he comes in contact with slips him some money that I pay back for the hooch.
There's a war going on, hundreds of thousands of corn corpses lay smouldering, PARKER may lose a leg, and you're here telling funny stories. Smh
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2018-03-23 10:48:31
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there is always that one guy that says things that are completely inappropriate, at the worst possible time, for no apparent reason... so... it might as well be candlejack....

PARKER says nobody else has applied for the whipping boy job... once he clarified the craig's list ad... receiver of all beatings.

why would we hire someone to walk around here flogging us when we start slacking off!? this is where we hide from all the whips in the real world.
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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2018-03-23 11:19:47
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
tell him to walk it off...and tell him to remove pleebo from the white list. because when he finds out I never thanked you for buying junior and I dinner... he'll scratch my eyes out..

he's (hopefully) going to survive. I'm not too worried about it in any event...

It's all good buddy. We were both pretty burnt out. It'll be a hell of a lot more fun if we have more time, cigars, booze, ect....

My grandma seems to be doing just fine. that was a shitty ride home though.

meh.
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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2018-03-23 11:51:34
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2018-03-23 12:53:04
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Siren.Mosin said: »
My grandma seems to be doing just fine.

that's really good to hear... I thought we lost her back there during the Battle for Murdo... tell her to hang in there, the black hills are bleak enough already.

4 of 27

-Bozeman Montana was the area I wanted to buy a buffalo farm and retire in

-Urial’s official title was once “Royal Bootlick to the Princess of Oklahoma”
Royal Bootlick to the Princess of Oklahoma

-Mosin was responsible for outing / branding Skully a “Workplace Pooper” and an enemy of the State
Workplace Pooper

-it was 2014 when Flavin’s made his worst mistake ever telling us the sugar britches story
Sugar Britches
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By Anna Ruthven 2018-03-23 13:04:49
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
Princess of Oklahoma
According to The Twitch™, she has renounced her throne of waving wheat and defected to Indiana, I am sure you were dying to know this.
 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2018-03-23 13:52:15
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Anna Ruthven said: »
Shiva.Nikolce said: »
Princess of Oklahoma
According to The Twitch™, she has renounced her throne of waving wheat and defected to Indiana, I am sure you were dying to know this.

you'll believe anything girlboy... you poor gullible hebitch.

the Princess of Oklahoma sits on a throne of lies!... a top a mountain of the freshly castrated testicles of her enemies....

that ain't wheat stalks she's waving around nimrod.
look closer! it's woven pubes!!
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By Anna Ruthven 2018-03-23 14:01:01
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Interesting...
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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2018-03-23 15:17:48
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lmao

That was a trip down ole' memory lane...

I miss all those ***. how dare they abandon me!

/shedsatear

anywhoooo...

you and the boy check out some grand kingdom? or David Bryne?

I've got nothing too interesting. the children grow, the HVAC has been installed at my place, and I've cleaned the destruction it wrought. Gettin' hyped for a quiet weekend with booze and live PD.
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By Anna Ruthven 2018-03-23 15:46:48
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I miss Meshi, I had to do less when he was here.
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2018-03-23 17:40:20
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Siren.Mosin said: »

anywhoooo...

you and the boy check out some grand kingdom? or David Bryne?

We were listening to slayer until the minesota police pulled me over for doing 83 in a 70. (Got off with a warning) then we switched to led zep...

I'll get a round tuit.
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2018-03-26 15:41:10
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[Garbage truck backing up noise - followed by garbage truck dumping noises]

/PARKER, Nik and a pile of dirty rags and broken tools roll out of the back

ugh...work sucks...

PARKER go and find some way to bottle youthful exuberance fuel... and then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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