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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2017-06-27 11:45:33
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It's like you people don't pay attention....
 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-27 12:03:38
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Siren.Mosin said: »
It's like you people don't pay attention....

it's ok...I did the math and there is a disturbingly high probability that I don't exist at all...and guess what that means PARKER?...

yeah...that we're both figments of Mosin's imagination... and he is stuck in a coma... /shows you the equation on the whiteboard

in more than one of all the theoretically possible timelines Mosin never walked away from that accident twenty years ago and we're both hallucinations caused by doctors in the really real world tinkering with his medications to try to snap him out of it...

“If I am dreaming let me never awake, If I am awake let me never sleep.”
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By Ramyrez 2017-06-27 12:16:56
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But rest assured; if there's a reality, I can make it damp.
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-27 13:02:21
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Ramyrez said: »
But rest assured; if there's a reality, I can make it damp.

yeah but we can only measure that kind of dampness in the ethereal plane...

with the remograstatic hydrofeelnalysis detector I stole from the japs at kawasaki R and D.... they had it coming... they stole my fuzzy logic controller and were using it for intelligent water propultion system design...dirty sons of ***.
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-27 13:58:32
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so if you can imagine... the so called 'real world'... is only our perception of our surroundings, which are made up of electrical impulses from our five senses, that are then interpreted by our brains.

all of the other 'people' we converse with in our own perception of reality has their own interpretation on the same information filtered through their own sensory input system

and we're able to combine different images and bring them into the real world at least in the form of art like a painting of a dragons or a hr giger alien drawling.

and if you look closely there is nothing unique about the images at all they are all just exagerations and different combinations of things that already exist in this real world

so we can see reality itself scewing between individual experiances and perception and determine using the 'duck test' that if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it's probably a duck and if it's not a duck than who really gives a ***...

it either is a duck and everybody else sees it acting as a duck or it's just my imagination and if I just ignore it then it probably wont bother anybody else anyways...

and then some kid shouts 'hey mommy look at that duck following that guy around' and at first you are relieved that you aren't the only one seeing the duck but then the mom says STOP LYING

so if it's true that we are in fact one in a million but there are seven billion people on the planet then simple math dictates that there are at least seven thousand of me running around right now.

which is either calming or unnerving based on your perception

so somewhere there are 6,999 other crazy *** trying to explain to someone just like you dingdongs that it doesn't matter whether we exist or not due to the sheer volume of our collective nonexistant experiances we're created a reality that even if we are the only ones that can percieve then it really isn't any different than our imagination anyways... so nobody gives a ***.
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By Ramyrez 2017-06-27 14:12:13
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
so nobody gives a ***

I skipped ahead to the last sentence, wasn't disappointed. Enlightenment was still found.
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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2017-06-27 15:43:19
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Shiva.Nikolce said: »
if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it's probably a duck and if it's not a duck than who really gives a ***...

Oh man, I really could have used you growing up. I went on that same spiel one time and all my *** friends told me that didn't make any sense and I should shut up. ,,, .now that I think about it that's been my whole life really.
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-28 09:11:06
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Siren.Mosin said: »
now that I think about it that's been my whole life really.

welcome to the club!

as your mind slowly deteriorates with age here are some handy tips to help you cope with your desent into madness...

The ants are really the worst part of any psychotic break.

Oh Sure some people will argue that the homicidal rage and the unquenchable lust for property destruction are the worst... FOR THEM maybe... sure... ok... but for me personally it's the ants.

I try to brush them off as casually as possible so as not to attract attention... or try to crush one on the back of my hand but the sooner you realize that you can't inflict any damage on them in the real world the quicker you can go back to ignoring them...

of course that's easy for me to say since I haven't had them in my eye yet...

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By Nadleeh Sakurai 2017-06-28 09:35:55
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-28 10:21:18
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Nadleeh Sakurai said: »

I've been feeling the same way all week buddeh....

It's almost as if there is a huge summer beach party going on all month in Narnia and everyone but the four of us was invited....
/notices PARKER getting a little sweaty
/stares deeper at PARKER

SO you do know where everyone else is!? you ***!

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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-28 10:23:16
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-28 10:24:31
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wait... it's chinese wednesday PARKER find some chinese surf music

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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-28 10:26:18
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-28 12:34:40
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meshi is going to come back all george hamilton levels of tan...

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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-28 12:40:01
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-28 13:03:57
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-28 13:05:36
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-28 13:11:37
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PARKER get some dancers on that beach to liven things up...

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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-28 13:16:09
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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2017-06-28 13:48:17
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I'm jealousy incarnate.
 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-28 14:05:08
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Siren.Mosin said: »
I'm jealousy incarnate.

I won't tell anybody...

and who is PARKER going to tell?

PARKER /starts to answer

Nikolce uses /frypan <t=PARKER> *it's super effective*

nobody!

/tosses frypan back on the conference table

that thing is solid weighsatononium he won't be telling anyone anything for a few hours...

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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-29 08:49:49
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/drags himself in

is it friday yet? /looks at the calendar

no...

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it's evil thursday (temporary name) the worst day of the week according to good old whatshername...yeah... the kid that doesn't post here any more...the fat kid from indianapolis that pretends he is an italian girl one of these other a~holes probably stalked him down

I don't know about every thursday but this one sure sucks camel *** in the desert.
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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2017-06-29 10:03:59
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can a guy get a labotomy for funsies? or is that a home surgery nowadays?
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By Ramyrez 2017-06-29 10:08:56
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Siren.Mosin said: »
can a guy get a labotomy for funsies? or is that a home surgery nowadays?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-29 10:36:31
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Siren.Mosin said: »
can a guy get a labotomy for funsies? or is that a home surgery nowadays?

Oneal Ron Morris could probably squeeze us in on short noti... what's that PARKER?...oh yeah?...when?...wow.. how long is he going in for?....ten years huh...no we probably don't have that long to wait...yeah he probably wont be able to do your pecs either...go ahead and cancel that appointment.

hmmmm. /drums fingers on desk

I thought about having an on/off switch installed....somewhere discreet... like behind an ear. But it automatically raised two questions... what are the chances anyone would leave it off when you wanted them to? and what are the chances anyone would turn it back on?...

I don't want to end up like that diving bell and the butterfly guy...can't even jack off when you're bored..die of pneumonia because it's too hard to spell with eye blinks....

all the chemicals I tried are temporary...and eventually lose their effectiveness... /considers it a long time

I'm going to go ahead and stick with my original recommendation of scotch.

a good belt of scotch should put you down for at least four or five hours...you can still function in emergency situations...the side effects are manageable...
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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2017-06-29 11:03:41
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I've been drinking a lot of vodka lately instead of whiskey for reasons that aren't particularly clear. maybe THAT'S the answer! drink at work! then maybe I'll get fired too and kill two birds with one stone. we might have something here gents...
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By Ramyrez 2017-06-29 12:02:40
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Siren.Mosin said: »
I've been drinking a lot of vodka lately instead of whiskey for reasons that aren't particularly clear. maybe THAT'S the answer! drink at work! then maybe I'll get fired too and kill two birds with one stone. we might have something here gents...

If my father's experience is any indication, it's not the problem solver you think it might be.

However, to my knowledge, you are not a radio personality. So your mileage may vary.
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-29 12:42:55
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Ramyrez said: »
it's not the problem solver you think it might be

You got a lot of nerve besmirching the good name of alcohol in here!

Siren.Mosin said: »
I've been drinking a lot of vodka lately

because you always wanted to be a dumb pollack!?

look if scotch is a bit too pricey, try a double jim beam. whiskeys by their very nature are more warm and soothing with that rich smokey golden smoothness... /drools

vodka...idk...vodka has more of a /swirls hand around... "angry taste"... like vengeance....the kinda drink you throw back before some chick kicks you in the balls...

it kinda burns your throat punishing you for choosing it...it stays cold like an elderly siberian dyke....even if you boil it... probably...

if you want to get mean why not pop an amphetamine first...

beer is your buddy... and whisky is your old friend... but vodka... is like that one guy with the bulging eyeballs that no one is sure who invited him along that likes to get drunk and run over rabbits in a corn field...he is nobody's friend but it's your fault he's at the party...type of thing.. and there is now like a 95% chance of property damage and hurt feelings...or puking in a toilet.

you need to chillax big guy. if you are putting yourself in situations that you that you think vodka will help... then that's bad planning on your part... you need to borrow flavin's lawn chair and go park your butt outside somewhere quiet and get your mind right.
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 Siren.Mosin
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By Siren.Mosin 2017-06-29 12:45:54
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amen.
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 Shiva.Nikolce
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By Shiva.Nikolce 2017-06-29 12:54:25
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Red Bull and Vodka...

thank you PARKER...yeah... that's been the choice of imaginary champions for a while now...jock *** getting all amped up on caffeine and vodka... go get in a fight with a brick wall and lose...

john drinks five hour energy drinks and vodka to get mean....

I'm getting old or something...*** that. I would rather stare at a fire or ocean waves on a beach
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