Bismarck.Josiahkf said:
»Does anyone else think some posters (Kali, Leila, spath) are just too innocent for this thread?
It feels like we're doing evil
No. People normally think I'm innocent when they first meet me. The biggest horn dog I've ever met and the evilest person were 2 of the most innocent seeming people I've ever met in my life.
Trust me, they're not innocent.
I don't think I'm innocent, I just enjoy being nice to others. It makes me happy even if my day has been rotten as hell. It's just very difficult for me to be mean to someone else, because I'd immediately regret it and would feel so damn guilty for days because of it.
With that said I still have negative thoughts about others, which effects my mood a great deal because I feel guilty about how I think. I can't handle criticism well or having others upset with me or arguing with me. I can't even handle others arguing with each other, I have to leave the room. I put myself down tremendously for every mistake I've ever made, and won't let them go.
I don't know why I can forgive others for their mistakes, no matter what they did (to a point of course), but I can't forgive myself. I've been working on trying not to think like that, it just isn't easy.